So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
