Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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