I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
