even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize