Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
