are you still at the devil's house?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize