And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
