How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
