im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize