I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My life is pants optional.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
