I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
