I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
