Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
