Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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