marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
