READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
