i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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