Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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