Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize