i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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