Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
