If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
