I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
