i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
