I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
tell me about the eggs
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize