so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
