Whod you bang
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
