You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
