Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
