butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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