i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Do vagina's smell?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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