She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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