How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
