Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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