Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
