Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
