Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
