my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
