dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
