The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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