she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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