You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
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