Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize