Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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