So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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