Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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(510): View more from California

I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

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(702): View more from Nevada

His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.

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(740): View more from Ohio

So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?

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(416): View more from Toronto

Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.

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(248): View more from Michigan

If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.

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