His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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