I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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