Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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