I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize