i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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