so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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