He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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