honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
