He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
