Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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