So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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