I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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