So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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