i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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