I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Acid is not a monday night drug
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
