i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
