yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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