How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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